woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
