U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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