Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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