ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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