rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
