Barsexuality is the new black.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
