he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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