Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
