I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
