i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
