WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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