She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Quick, to the slutcave!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
