If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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