Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize