1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
