i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
