and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I believe in your delicious
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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