You're so nebulous sometimes
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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