i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
