But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize