Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
