I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
