so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
