The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
