Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
