i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
