I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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