Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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