so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think people are normalizing furries
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
