Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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