I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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