Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize