Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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