I think I died a long time ago.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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