did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
