you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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