I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i drank out of a bidet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
