shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
