dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
