i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.