Me too!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
