I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
