Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize