We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well I just put wine in my tea
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
