u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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