Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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