in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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