there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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