I didn't shave. On purpose
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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