Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
