garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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