my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
