bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
