Small penises have feelings too.
Just cropdusted the office
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
