remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
