perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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