it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
