Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it's like iHOP with fire
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
