NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
