You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
