the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
